Relationships don’t fall apart overnight. They erode in small moments with misunderstandings that get brushed aside, stress that builds without being named, or old hurts that influence how partners interact. When couples begin to feel stuck in the same painful cycle, it’s not a “communication problem.” It’s a disconnection problem.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) is one of the most effective, research-supported approaches for repairing that disconnection. It’s used worldwide and has a strong presence here in Calgary for couples looking to rebuild closeness, navigate conflict differently, and strengthen their bond.
In this post, we’ll break down what EFCT actually does, why it works, and how it can help couples at any stage – from feeling distant or overwhelmed to recovering from significant relational injuries.
What Is EFCT?
EFCT (or EFT for couples) is an attachment-based therapy developed by Drs. Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg. It’s based on a simple, deeply human idea:
People fight, shut down, or pull away because they fear losing connection and not because they don’t care.
EFCT helps partners:
-
Understand the deeper emotions beneath their reactions
-
Interrupt communication cycles that keep them stuck
-
Share needs and fears in a safer, more vulnerable way
-
Create new patterns of reaching for each other rather than defending against each other
It’s not about learning scripts or memorizing communication techniques. It’s about healing the emotional bond that makes healthy communication even possible.
Why EFCT Works So Well for Couples
EFCT is one of the most researched and effective approaches for couples therapy. Studies show that:
-
70–75% of couples move from distress to recovery
-
90% show significant improvement
Why? Because EFCT focuses on repairing the emotional heart of the relationship, not just the surface issues.
Couples often come in saying things like:
-
“We keep having the same fight.”
-
“It feels like we’re roommates.”
-
“Whenever I try to talk, it blows up.”
-
“I’m scared we’re drifting apart.”
EFCT helps partners finally see the pattern rather than blaming the person. Instead of “You never listen,” partners start saying things like:
“I get scared I don’t matter to you, and then I shut down. I don’t want distance, I want connection.”
That shift is where healing begins.
EFCT Helps With:
Communication issues
Helping partners express themselves in ways that invite closeness rather than defensiveness.
Recurring conflicts
Rewiring the emotional cycles underneath the fight and not just managing the argument.
Emotional disconnection
Rebuilding safety, warmth, and trust.
Infidelity repair
Providing a structured, compassionate process for healing attachment injuries.
Stress, burnout, parenting pressures, major life transitions
EFCT gives couples tools to stay connected even during high-stress seasons.
Blended families & cultural dynamics
Supporting couples as they navigate roles, expectations, and new emotional landscapes.
What an EFCT Session Feels Like
EFCT is gentle but powerful. Many couples say it feels different from other therapies they’ve tried.
A therapist helps you:
-
Slow down the emotional “moments” that escalate fights
-
Understand what’s really happening beneath the surface (fear, loneliness, overwhelm)
-
Express needs without shutting down or getting defensive
-
Respond to one another with empathy rather than reactivity
Couples often experience “corrective emotional moments” – moments where something finally lands and connection feels possible again. These moments become the foundation for new patterns at home.
Why Calgary Couples Are Turning Toward EFCT
Life in Calgary moves fast. Many couples feel stretched thin and emotionally disconnected long before they realize it.
EFCT offers a structured, evidence-based approach for couples who want:
-
A clearer understanding of their relationship patterns
-
A deeper emotional bond
-
A way to feel like a team again
-
Support that goes beyond surface-level advice
Whether you’re married, dating, living together, navigating cultural differences, or blending families, EFCT can help strengthen your foundation and build a more secure, connected relationship.
Work With an EFCT-Informed Couples Therapist in Calgary
At Solasta Counselling, several clinicians incorporate EFCT principles in couples work. One of them is Josephine, who brings a particularly warm, grounded, and attachment-focused approach.
Meet Josephine
Josephine is a Registered Provisional Psychologist and Canadian Certified Counsellor with more than 20 years of experience supporting individuals, couples, and families. Her work with couples is rooted in attachment theory and emotionally corrective experiences – helping partners feel seen, understood, and emotionally safe.
In couples therapy, Josephine:
-
Helps partners uncover and heal attachment wounds
-
Supports them in building new patterns of emotional expression
-
Integrates EFCT with narrative, CBT, solution-focused, client-centered, and trauma-informed approaches
-
Brings a multicultural, relational, and faith-optional lens for couples who want culturally responsive or Christian-integrated therapy
As a long-time partner, immigrant parent of three teens/young adults, and someone with extensive experience supporting families, youth, and community programs, she brings empathy, steadiness, and deep relational insight to her couples work.
Whether you’re hoping to repair trust, strengthen communication, or reconnect after years of distance, Josephine offers a supportive, non-judgmental space to help couples move toward clarity, closeness, and emotional security.