Author: Scott McKirdy

If you’ve ever felt like quitting a sport you once loved, you’re not alone. As a counsellor in Calgary, I’ve experienced firsthand how societal expectations, gender roles, external pressures and mental health struggles shape the athletic experience.

For many adolescent girls, sports provide a sense of community, confidence, teamwork, life skills, and an outlet for stress. However, they also come with unique challenges that impact mental well-being. Despite these benefits, about 1 in 3 girls drop out of their sport by late adolescence, often driven by judgment, confidence struggles, body image concerns, academic pressure, and social expectations.

This blog explores the common struggles girls face in sports and how therapeutic approaches can help them thrive.

Challenges Girls Experience in Sport

Body Shaming and Body Image Pressure

For many girls when they reach adolescence self-esteem decreases and negative body image increases. Sport can often heighten these concerns. Girls in sport often receive harmful and conflicting messages about their bodies.

• “You must achieve a certain ideal body.”
• “You need to be fit and strong but also lean and feminine.”
• “You are too muscular” or “You don’t look like an athlete.”

These body image pressures can leave girls feeling self-conscious, distressed, anxious, and depressed. They also contribute to negative self-talk, disordered eating, and restrictive eating, and question their place in sports. Research notes approximately 60% of women in sports have had a coach, parent, or peer comment on their body.

Identity Struggles

Young athletes may feel their entire identity is tied to and defined by being an athlete which can create emotional strain and overwhelming pressure. As well as other challenges such as:

• Fear of Failure: If a girl believes her value is only in her athletic success, setbacks (like injuries or poor performance) can feel devastating, leading her to quit rather than risk not being good.
• Burnout: Over-committed to an athlete identity may lead to neglect in other interests, friendships, and passions. Over time, this lack of balance can lead to mental defeat.
• Struggles with Transition: As girls enter adolescence, they may question their future in sport. Without a strong sense of self outside of athletics, this uncertainty can sometimes make it difficult to navigate their place outside of sports.

Pressure from Coaches, Parents & Peers

Young female athletes may place a large emphasis on external validation. Feeling like their self-worth, confidence, and identity are linked to external validation from coaches, parents, and teammates. Relying on this validation and feeling like it is a determining factor of self-worth and identity may lead to self-doubt, making sports feel emotionally distressing.

Negative experiences with coaches such as verbal put-downs, punishment for mistakes, ignoring athletes when struggling, and displaying favoritism can contribute to anxiety, depression, self-doubt, low self-esteem, self-criticism, and lack of enjoyment.

Lack of Enjoyment

When the focus shifts from fun to performance, winning, and competition, sports can start to feel like a burden rather than an enjoyable activity.

• Constant pressure to perform and a fear of failure can take the joy out of playing.
• Negative experiences with coaches can contribute to anxiety, depression, self-criticism, and a lack of motivation.

Impact on Mental Health and Well-being

Through personal experience and research, these challenges and barriers faced by adolescent girls and women in sport can lead to various mental health concerns some including:

• Depression, anxiety, PTSD, poor body image, eating disorders, suicidal ideation, low self-esteem, perfectionism, identity crisis, decreased motivation, performance anxiety, and resentment towards sports.

How Therapy Can Support and Empower Girls in Sport

Therapeutic interventions can help girls navigate these challenges, foster resilience, and build confidence.

Self-compassion and Mindfulness

Therapy can help integrate mindfulness and self-compassion which are important tools in helping young female athletes build resilience and improve mental well-being.

Research has shown that among female athletes 13-18 years old, self-compassion was helpful in reducing shame, fear of failure, worry, self-doubt, fear of making mistakes, and negative self-talk. Self-compassion was linked with an increase in self-esteem, confidence, self-acceptance, and positive body image.

• Self-compassion has been linked to reducing the impact of coaching pressure, perfectionism, and distressing emotions related to performance.
• Mindfulness can help young female athletes gain a balanced perspective on training, performance, recovery, and relationships. Helping to reduce the pressure from coaches, parents, and peers.
• Through creating a healthier relationship with thoughts, feelings, and emotions, mindfulness supports athletes in coping with stress and pressure. This can reduce anxiety about making mistakes and promote a more accurate perception of their skills and abilities.
• Mindfulness can help encourage athletes to reframe setbacks as learning opportunities, recognizing them as a natural part of growth and human experience. This perspective fosters a sense of connection with others facing similar challenges, reducing feelings of isolation and building a strong support network.
• Mindfulness and self-compassion can help young female athletes develop a sense of self both within and outside of their sport.

How YOU Can Help Empower Young Girls in Sport

As parents, coaches, and counsellors, we all have a role in creating a supportive environment for female athletes. Here are some ways to help:

1. Encourage girls to embrace their authentic selves without fear of judgment. Celebrate their strength, skill, and individuality.
2. Shift the focus from outcomes to effort, learning, and personal development.
3. Highlight stories of female athletes who embody resilience and perseverance, showing girls what’s possible.
4. Foster environments where athletes feel comfortable, empowered, and accepted when sharing their struggles.

 

Empower her game and break down barriers!

If you’re a young athlete, parent of a young athlete, or anyone navigating the world of sports, understanding these challenges can help you create a healthier and more positive athletic experience.

Let’s work together to ensure that sports remain a place where girls feel strong, confident, and empowered. Learn more about adolescent counselling in Calgary and how our team at Solasta Counselling can support you.

Welcome to Solasta Counselling and Psychological Services Ltd., where we believe in guiding individuals towards their inner radiance and resilience to help our clients shine their brightest.

You might be wondering why we chose the name Solasta for our psychology practice in Calgary.Let us illuminate the significance behind our name.

Solasta, derived from the Scottish Gaelic word “solus” meaning light, luminous, shining, or bright, perfectly encapsulates our core philosophy. In a world often clouded by darkness and uncertainty, we strive to be a beacon of light for those seeking clarity and healing. Our name reflects our commitment to helping individuals navigate through their challenges and emerge stronger and more empowered.

When Scott and Gillian were married in 2001, the sun became an important theme. Gillian’s mother mentioned in her speech that Gillian had responded to the immense and uncontrollable challenges in her life by being positive, and sunshiny! This is still true today. Throughout Gillian and Scott’s ups and downs, they have chosen to be honest about the challenges that they have faced while trying to be optimistic about the future. The word “Solasta” represented their Scottish heritage and their desire to focus on helping others create positive change in their lives, even in the face of significant challenges.

We believe in creating a safe and nurturing space where individuals can explore their thoughts and emotions without judgment. Our therapists and psychologists in Calgary are here to walk alongside our clients on their journey toward healing and self-discovery.

Solasta conveys a sense of positivity and hope, which we hope resonates with individuals seeking support during difficult times. It reflects our belief in the inherent resilience of the human spirit and our commitment to empowering individuals to overcome their challenges and thrive.

Solasta Counselling and Psychological Services is more than just a name—it’s a reflection of our values, mission, and commitment to helping others. With our unique blend of compassion, expertise, and dedication, we are here to guide you on your journey towards healing and transformation.

Welcome to Solasta Counselling and Psychological Services, where we can help you shine your brightest!

In the whirlwind of modern parenthood, it’s all too easy to find yourself teetering on the edge of burnout. Juggling the demands of work, household responsibilities, and the never-ending needs of your children can leave you feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and stretched to your limits. Parental burnout is a very real phenomenon that affects countless parents around the world. But recognizing the signs and taking proactive steps to address it can make all the difference in reclaiming your balance and well-being.

What is Parent Burnout?

Parent burnout Calgary is more than just feeling tired or stressed—it’s a state of chronic exhaustion, emotional depletion, and a sense of being overwhelmed by the responsibilities of parenthood. It can manifest in various ways, including fatigue, irritability, resentment, and a loss of enjoyment in parenting.

Several factors can contribute to parental burnout, including:

• High Expectations: Unrealistic expectations of yourself as a parent, fueled by societal pressures or comparison with others, can lead to feelings of inadequacy and overwhelm.
• Lack of Support: Limited support from a partner, family members, or friends can make the challenges of parenting feel even more daunting.
• Work-Life Balance: Balancing the demands of work and family life can leave little time for self-care and relaxation, increasing the risk of burnout.
• Perfectionism: Striving for perfection in parenting or maintaining a perfectly organized household can create unnecessary stress and pressure.
• Lack of Boundaries: Difficulty setting boundaries with children, family members, or work commitments can lead to feeling constantly overwhelmed and depleted.

Parenting Children with Exceptional Needs: Parenting children with additional support needs, and children who have experienced trauma (such as trauma related to events or developmental trauma, including adopted children and children living away from their biological parents) can be very stressful. Not only do parents need to navigate complex systems of support and advocate for their child’s needs to be met, they may also need to manage challenging behaviours.

Overcoming Parental Burnout

While parent burnout Calgary can feel all-consuming, there are steps you can take to regain your equilibrium and prevent burnout from taking over your life:

• Prioritize Self-Care: Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Whether it’s carving out time for exercise, meditation, hobbies, or simply relaxing with a good book, prioritize activities that recharge your batteries and nourish your soul.
• Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Reach out to your partner, family members, or friends for support with childcare, household chores, or simply a listening ear.
• Set Realistic Expectations: Let go of the pressure to be the perfect parent and embrace the messy reality of family life. Recognize that it’s okay to ask for help, make mistakes, and prioritize your own well-being.
• Establish Boundaries: Learn to say no to commitments that don’t align with your priorities and values. Set boundaries with your children, partner, and others to protect your time and energy.
• Practice Mindfulness: Cultivate mindfulness in your daily life by staying present in the moment and practicing acceptance of yourself and your circumstances. Mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce stress and promote emotional well-being.
• Seek Professional Help: If you’re struggling to cope with parental burnout on your own, don’t hesitate to seek support from a mental health professional. Our Calgary psychologists and counsellors can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, develop coping strategies, and work through underlying issues contributing to burnout.

 

Remember, prioritizing your own well-being isn’t selfish—it’s essential for being the best parent you can be. By taking proactive steps to address parental burnout, you can reclaim your balance, find joy in parenting, and create a more fulfilling family life for yourself and your children.

Let our Calgary Psychologists support you in being a good enough parent.